Building to world, one stick of ram at a time.

So, i built my new pc, and everything i put into it was top notch. Well, as top notch as you can get without having "Bill Gates hush hush on that sodomy thing" money. Put in a gigabyte Z68 board, a Intel I5 2600K, 64gb ssd, two 7200rpm 500gb hdd, some random drives i had lying around, and 8gb of nice n fast ram. Everything is ready to make your eyes bleed. With the exception of my graphics card. A 560ti. Now, don't get me wrong, its good, But its not "Kicked in the dick by a bear" Good.

I really liked the moral on this one.

Now, I do plan on replacing it, with two 590's, right after i can find myself a nice and easily pry-able open elevator shaft, and then i better call Saul. Whats that you say? Reddit gifts who? I've never heard of no gosh darned internet, and this newfangled internet you speak of, SO GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAM KIDS. No, this is not an attempt to squander two 700 dollar graphics cards outta some nice soul, that just be crazy. Seriously, on the off chance you're reading this Secret Santa gent/ladygent; I will accept nothing less than a Hitori Hanzo blade, NOTHING LESS.

I will consider space stations, On a case by case basis. Lasers not optional.

So now you ask, "Is there any reason for a blog update other than to gloat about your new hardware, and to be your usual dick self?". I answer you with "Yes, this is my blog, now, go get daddy a beer.". One day you'll wise up to the fact that blogging is really nothing but an online diary where people only write the cool shit the want other people to read, in an effort to boost their image, hopefully to the "My sac is inside of a strangers mouth" level. That's the ultimate goal. Now i may be married now, but that doesn't stop me from desiring other people to desire my sac. That's pretty much been the goal of humanity since its deformed monkey fetus dropped from 'tween the first confounded Australopithecus's bowlegged, bipedal walking sticks. Just look at any great story of heroes, It always ends in hopefully successive sodomy.

"Bj's you fools!"

This about sums it up for now. I covered sodomy, pre-human birth, space stations, and bears. All that's left for my life is to grow a beard that would make Chuck Norris smear his own feces upon his body in an effort to hide from the (Presumably predator jaw shaped) jaw pube monstrosity-that-has-gained-Skynet-level-sentience on my face.Speaking of pubes, did you know a nipple hair is also called a pube (Pronounced Pue-bay)? Well you do now. Also, be aware that at any given time you shake someones hand, its quite possible they just got threw shitting, ripped threw the tp, and accidentally slipped a finger up the bung. Wash or no wash, that's disturbing. Adios muchacos! Until next time!

Get your own look Chuck.

Change is never change.

Today i bring a regular post. Not a comedic raging vent. Not a remorseful speech. Not a lesson on the correlation of mass, to gravity, as is concerned to the formation of planets from sub atomic debris from a supernova. Just an observation. This observation, is all about change, how it effects us, and how it affects us. Much the reason you, and I for that matter, am alive. For without change, there would be no evolution. Let us discuss, in depth, change.

Change is good.

To many of us familiar with Wayne's World, A young Mr. Garth Algar taught us that "Change is not good, we fear change" and that all mechanical hands that gain sentience should be smashed with hammers. While i agree with this, there is a great difference between chosen change, and forced change. With chosen change, we decide our path, look at our options, and place our destiny in our own solemn capable hands. This is the change that takes you from the teat, to a boy afraid of spiders, to a man with a fierce beard that is used to preform open chest heart surgery on non-anesthesia'd tigers. A raw man. Without change, you would have never decided to stop sucking tits, hating spiders, and sleeping all day because pimples sucked. Simply put, you changed into a better dude. You became who you wanted to be, and damned the world if they dont like it.

Change is bad.

Earlier today, i was watching a show on TLC. Mind you, that acronym used to stand for "The LEARNING Channel" and now stands for "Topographic Layouts of Crap". Now the show that was on was "What not to wear". If you are unfamiliar with it, good, I'm still a decent human in your eyes. If you are, well... I'm sorry i let you down. Anyway... In this show, they take a reasonably happy human being, look at them and say, "your a piece of shit, and look like you should be eaten by raptors.". The summarily they dress them up in "cool"(Read: Expensive) clothes, have someone do their hair, and someone do their makeup. Now... I'm not one to say that professional hair-doo-er guys, or makeup "artist's" are terrible at their craft, but check what happens next. They ask "ready to show the new YOU!!!!" to which she responds "Um... Not really...". "What?" they reply, and demand that she "Get out here!". She saunters out of the back room, clearly confused about her body, face, hair, and wardrobe.. They see this, see their work, and proclaim "Dont be sad! Look how beautiful you are", after a 15,000 makeover. I mean cmon chica, you coulda looked like this the whole time, if only you stoped being yourself, spent half a years salary on your looks, and chose the correct clothes to buy.

It made me sad. To see this woman, happy  with who she is, to be torn down by stylist "experts" (i always thought style was a personal thing, not a science that you can receive a doctorate in) because she didn't wear makeup, or do her hair in a certain way. Then to see her change herself, to conform with there definition of beautiful  and them proclaim "Now you're beautiful!". Beauty is not something you can buy. Its not something someone can give you. Beauty is certainly not a bunch a dicks slapping crap on your face, then seeing you self conscious saying "Look how good we think you are to our standards now!". End result, she changed to fit their molds, and is now miserable.

Final thought.

Change is what drives the universe to evolve. But this evolution is not on its own, its in constant pull and give with all other change, all over the universe, ALL THE TIME. Just because there are no natural predators to stylist, or magazine writers, does not mean their ideas evolved the predators away. Our ancestors did that, with knives, teeth, claws, bones, and their life's. Every time you read Cosmo, and take that advice, your punching a promethium in the face. Be yourself. Make NEW ideas, and make those who have their own fight for there prominence. Competition is the key to good change. Otherwise, in 5000 years, when the people of the future find an open your time capsule that you participate in during the second grade, and reorganize your DNA into a body from a eyelash that fell into it... You'll awake to a landscape of buildings shaped like Hannah Montannatron, and fast food restaurants that only serve pure 100% air burgers.

Don't say i didn't warn you.

On the thoughts of men.

Throughout time, as far back as science has permitted thus far, men and women have recorded history. Once in a long while, ideas were writ, some good, some great, others not so much. This is a fact. Long,as a race, have we been doing so. So forth have we also been reading the wisdom of the past. Many may say this is the source of our greatest strength. Knowledge. I disagree. While it is true that it allows all of us currently living to learn from the mistakes and success of the past, it also allows us to follow in their delusions. Within so, at times, a retard will learn to write, and someone will read that... Without the knowledge of said retardation, and fail to apply critical thinking to the situation. Thus, we enter the age of shitbrains.

Example one

This would not be a problem, in the circumstance that education was viable and successful. Education, which is largely based upon knowledge. Knowledge, which is based upon the teaching of old. Teachings, which may, or may not have been writ by an idiot. Think about this for one second. What do you know? How did you learn it? Whom do you have to blame for all your failures? If your answers were different than: Uhhhh, alot... From stuff... and uhhh what? the past i guess... then drop this class. GAME OVER. you lost before you began. I usually try to avoid blogging drunk (the reason i haven't updated in so long) because my writing suffers greatly from it. Im kinda lik the hamburgular in the midst of a "Best Bbq'ed burger" contest. Im all over the fucking place. But fuck it, stick with me through it. Pwease?

THE BIBLE.
So some guy said: "Yo son, i heard that this killing and shit be outta control. Lets write a book bout that shit.". Next thing you know, it expanded. Though shalt not kill. Though shall not rape. Though shall not be human, etc... etc... And BAM. People failed to apply critical thinking, and bullshit blossomed. Its okay, if your religious, its not your fault, blame your parents. Honestly though, its not their fault... The were taught by... OMG!.. Their parents! Thus the cycle goes back, for EONS. Every bad thing that has ever been done, is the fault of our ancestors. They did not have the foresight to put the enclosure warning "Seriously... just think about that shit and make up your own mind about it."

Nevermind... Its perfect.

   THE CONSTITUTION.
Once upon a time a bunch of dudes said: "Enough of this shit! Im not paying taxes on whores so King George can wax his asshole!" and decided to say "FUCK YOU" in an official statement.This is called the Constitution. In that document, they attempted to put in writing, a bunch of shit that says, in summation: "Don't be a dick bro, and if someone is a dick, fuck em". That includes the bill of rights... Yes, you have the right to bear arms. Why? In case some dick says: "Fuck you, ima take your shit caus i want to" and he trys it. Shoot his ass. Your shit is yours. This doesn't mean "I NEED MANY GUNS BECAUSE JOHN ADAMS SAID SO". You dont NEED a gun. You don't NEED to shoot people to stop them from taking your shit. But still, others think, that since it was writ, it is as said, without interpritation, as truth and law. You have the right to a freedom of speech. This does not mean you can say whatever you want, without recourse... If you are being a dick, i may snuff you in the dome piece. Shit... Who knows... Were just all animals.

Shit like this.

EVERYTHING.
All in all... We are but a insane amount of carbon based molecules, arranged in an inconceivable order, as the result of a incomprehensible series of events, formed over an unfathomable amount of time. FUCK YOU. Think you can fathom it? Fathom that time is but a made up thing, conjured in the past, by someone who thought the world was; "Flat, The center of the universe, Alone, controlled by invisible beings, and susceptible to human sacrifices.". People believe that shit... Why? Because their parents said so. And so on... and so on... The greatest ruler in all the world once said: " Hear my words, and do not write them. Decide unto thine self the meaning, and use just course to decifer the truth. Use this to create your own ideas, to share and discuss civially amongst your peers, and thus make a better world.". This person never existed... He never ruled, and no one heeded his teachings.

Close, but no... WOA, its so crates...

The world is crazy. People more so. Although learning is good.... Bias is bad. Nothing is predetermined. There is no fate. Learn, but make up your own mind. Nothing is as THEY say it is. Be yourself, and better the world. Dont listen to me though.... Make up your own mind. After all, who the fuck am I?

On the thoughts of men.

Throughout time, as far back as science has permitted thus far, men and women have recorded history. Once in a long while, ideas were writ, some good, some great, others not so much. This is a fact. Long,as a race, have we been doing so. So forth have we also been reading the wisdom of the past. Many may say this is the source of our greatest strength. Knowledge. I disagree. While it is true that it allows all of us currently living to learn from the mistakes and success of the past, it also allows us to follow in their delusions. Within so, at times, a retard will learn to write, and someone will read that... Without the knowledge of said retardation, and fail to apply critical thinking to the situation. Thus, we enter the age of shitbrains.

Example one

This would not be a problem, in the circumstance that education was viable and successful. Education, which is largely based upon knowledge. Knowledge, which is based upon the teaching of old. Teachings, which may, or may not have been writ by an idiot. Think about this for one second. What do you know? How did you learn it? Whom do you have to blame for all your failures? If your answers were different than: Uhhhh, alot... From stuff... and uhhh what? the past i guess... then drop this class. GAME OVER. you lost before you began. I usually try to avoid blogging drunk (the reason i haven't updated in so long) because my writing suffers greatly from it. Im kinda lik the hamburgular in the midst of a "Best Bbq'ed burger" contest. Im all over the fucking place. But fuck it, stick with me through it. Pwease?

"Nut he stole MY burgers..."

THE BIBLE.
So some guy said: "Yo son, i heard that this killing and shit be outta control. Lets write a book bout that shit.". Next thing you know, it expanded. Though shalt not kill. Though shall not rape. Though shall not be human, etc... etc... And BAM. People failed to apply critical thinking, and bullshit blossomed. Its okay, if your religious, its not your fault, blame your parents. Honestly though, its not their fault... The were taught by... OMG!.. Their parents! Thus the cycle goes back, for EONS. Every bad thing that has ever been done, is the fault of our ancestors. They did not have the foresight to put the enclosure warning "Seriously... just think about that shit and make up your own mind about it."

Nevermind... Its perfect.

   THE CONSTITUTION.
Once upon a time a bunch of dudes said: "Enough of this shit! Im not paying taxes on whores so King George can wax his asshole!" and decided to say "FUCK YOU" in an official statement.This is called the Constitution. In that document, they attempted to put in writing, a bunch of shit that says, in summation: "Don't be a dick bro, and if someone is a dick, fuck em". That includes the bill of rights... Yes, you have the right to bear arms. Why? In case some dick says: "Fuck you, ima take your shit caus i want to" and he trys it. Shoot his ass. Your shit is yours. This doesn't mean "I NEED MANY GUNS BECAUSE JOHN ADAMS SAID SO". You dont NEED a gun. You don't NEED to shoot people to stop them from taking your shit. But still, others think, that since it was writ, it is as said, without interpritation, as truth and law. You have the right to a freedom of speech. This does not mean you can say whatever you want, without recourse... If you are being a dick, i may snuff you in the dome piece. Shit... Who knows... Were just all animals.

Shit like this.

EVERYTHING.
All in all... We are but a insane amount of carbon based molecules, arranged in an inconceivable order, as the result of a incomprehensible series of events, formed over an unfathomable amount of time. FUCK YOU. Think you can fathom it? Fathom that time is but a made up thing, conjured in the past, by someone who thought the world was; "Flat, The center of the universe, Alone, controlled by invisible beings, and susceptible to human sacrifices.". People believe that shit... Why? Because their parents said so. And so on... and so on... The greatest ruler in all the world once said: " Hear my words, and do not write them. Decide unto thine self the meaning, and use just course to decifer the truth. Use this to create your own ideas, to share and discuss civially amongst your peers, and thus make a better world.". This person never existed... He never ruled, and no one heeded his teachings.

Close, but no... WOA, its so crates...

The world is crazy. People more so. Although learning is good.... Bias is bad. Nothing is predetermined. There is no fate. Learn, but make up your own mind. Nothing is as THEY say it is. Be yourself, and better the world. Dont listen to me though.... Make up your own mind. After all, who the fuck am I?

An american walker goes west.... Errr... um... east?

So here it is. All my lazying about, not updating, drinking booze and playing games couldnt stop it. The day has come. My bags are packed, and im about to begin my cross country journey. Well, my bags arnt packed... Shit, and im bringing this computer... Double shit...

FUCK.
Sorry guys, procrastination has to wait, i gotta pack.

Muahz!

There was a man...

Sometimes, when i think upon the universe... I think about the your gentleman who grew into Aristotle. What were his dreams as a child? His asperations as a toddler...

Turns out, you're awesome!

So on a rather quick turnaround; I’ve decided to do an anti-hate post… Something about the people in my life which I enjoy. People that enrich that little bit of existence we all know as life. Now you all know how I feel about the universe, its great big void of awesome and cool shit aside, it’s a pretty fucking desolate place. That’s what make is so damn special, and exactly what makes that dumb shitface hipster who complains about his macchiato not having enough cream that much more infuriating. You know what, just because your mother slapped you in the face once when you shit your pants at that wedding does not mean that you can act that way, it just means she was a terrible parent, and is probably the reason you went from a kid with asshole control problems, to a asshole who wants to cover everything else in your shit life. GET OVER IT. Wait… I’m supposed to be talking about joyous things… Back to the program jeeves!

"Yes sir, and if there's nothing else, it think ill go try and die in my sleep now"

First up: Silent hero’s

You think I’m talking about you because you donated you old underwear to the goodwill? No, I’m not, your bullshit, and so are they. I’m talking about the people out there who do things not for recognition, but because they are driven to it and never even ask for a thank you. Hell, most times these people are impossible to thank anyway, since you never even notice they influenced you at all. People who pick up garbage by the garbage can, and put it in there, even if it’s not their trash. The reason your house isn’t covered in old newspapers, and that curtain your grandmother threw up on because she was having a seizure when you said the word “fuck” at age two (good job, you killed grandma), is because people take your garbage out. When’s the last time you even saw your garbage man. These dudes handle everything from old coffee grinds to miscarried kittens. Why, because they get paid for that shit. Think about the courage it takes to pick up a napkin off a New York City street and throw it away. At a minimum, that shit is at least 3 seconds of contact with a piece of trash covered in possibly anything from mustard and boogers to bum dick puss. Don’t be fooled, those bums are busy popping cock pimples for at least 3 hours a day, I mean what the fuck else is for them to do, learn piano?

Here's puppies... For the love of god, do not ever, ever, EVER google "Bum dick pimple"with safe search off.

This isn’t limited to trash, but there are people out there doing little insignificant things everyday, that they don’t have to. These are the people who make the world a better place, one stupid thing at a time. Being a sailor, I get thanked rather regularly for my “service to my country”. I highly doubt even for a second that the majority of these people even know what it is to serve in the military, or why they are thanking me. They just do it because they think it’s what patriotic people are supposed to do. Guess what dipshit, although I consider it an honor to be in the military, don’t fucking kid yourself and think I would do it for free. I get paid. It’s my job. Why don’t you go down to the subway station and thank that heroin addict for not stabbing you in the neck. He had to use a LOT of self restraint to do that, and he in his own way, was being a silent hero that day. So just think about it next time you’re walking down the street, every person who isn’t attacking you to get at that sweet neck blood, of throwing their feces in your face is being a mildly decent human. Thank them for it. Maybe I shouldn’t be writing this while resident evil is on in the background…

Pictured: A model citizen

Next: People who don’t lie.

Now the truth isn’t always convenient. Sometime she really does look fat in that dress, and someone has to tell that stuck up bitch to her face! That person doesn’t have to be you though… Omitting the truth, so we can get that dank blowjob behind the McDonalds on Main Street is sometimes, a necessity. That’s not what we’re talking about here; I'm speaking about the TRUE truth. Whether or not you think lady gaga is a scientific abomination of humanity. What exactly you do, and do not, enjoy in bed. What you really feel about those shitty Tyler Perry movies.

Sooo good.

These things, at the heart of the matter, are the real truth. You know who you hurt by lying about you basketball skills and that one time you played a pickup game against Lebron James and dunked on him? You, and only you, because no one buys that shit for a second. The shit that really starts to stink up the place are those lies you tell that people will believe. Sure, nobody wants to tell grandpa that when he makes the dough for his cookies with those open sores and flakey skin on his hands that it makes everyone want to put him in a nursing home. Someone has to say that shit though. Otherwise you’re all going to keep eating those nasty, bloody, skin flavored sugar cookies. Sure it makes him happy, but it makes everyone else miserable, so cut the shit and buy him a cat. These truths usually don’t get you very far into people’s hearts, but you know where they do get you? Reality. If parents just bucked the fuck up and told Tommy that his pet turtle died because “his shell was not pajamas and part of his fucking body you evil little monster” instead of “that it was gods plan”, maybe Tommy wouldn’t grow up looking forward to his next taste of hooker flesh sautéed in dog blood. Children are stupid. Mind numbingly so. They are also smart as shit. The main reason they are so retarded is because they place faith in trust in fuck head people like you. Left alone to his own wits, he would eventually figure out that his dog didn’t run away, wasn’t coming back, and is actually dead. Thanks to you, this poor little kid sits up at night thinking that every bark he hears is the triumphant return of Mr. Pickles the rottweiler.

"I dont understand mom, i heard him scratching at the door"

It goes deeper than this. Maybe some of your friends would stop hanging out with you if they knew you didn’t think “Depeche mode is the most influential band of our time.”. Guess what, do you really want to be friends with someone who not only likes dépêche mode, but also is so fickle and asinine that they choose their friends based upon their musical favoritism? If you answered yes, GET THE FUCK OFF MY PAGE ASSHOLE. Seriously though, the people who matter most in your life shouldn’t care about what kind of pizza you like. True friends don’t care that you get down to scat porn, as long as you keep that shit in your room, or do it outside on a tarp. Most ultimately, you just need to be yourself, and love you first. That’s the only way you’ll ever have meaning full relationships in your life, when you actually have a life. Stop emulating things, stop wearing clothes you don’t like, stop watching crap you don’t want to see. You think anyone comes out of the womb addicted to the beauty and symmetry presented in the song “Poker face”. No. They think someone else thinks that shit is cool, and if they pretend its cool, then they will be cool by proxy. You know what’s cool? Nothing. It’s not a scientific value dumbass. It’s not gravity, its not speed, it’s not the hokey pokey (that’s what it’s all about son). Cool is not quantifiable. It’s not something you can procure through assimilation or pretend. It’s something people of like mind give others of like mind. No matter what, even if everyone believes your charade, when you’re laying there in your bed at night, alone with your thoughts, you know the truth.

"Im so happy my wife died, too bad i never told her that her cooking sucked"

Let’s keep rolling: People who admit their wrong.

Nobody like doing this shit, NOBODY. Not the president, not that crackhead down on eighth, not O.J.Simpsons character references before he went on trial. That’s what makes it such a worthwhile character trait. You know how different the world could have been if Hitler woulda just came out and said “Listen guys, you know this whole master race thing, well… turns out I was just a little pissed of that my neighbor Brokahiem Lebrowsky stopped giving me a BJ halfway through when I was 15, so lets call it off eh?”. He didn’t though. He just kept up the delusion that somehow Jewish people were wack, instead of admitting he loved the sack. HA! See what I did there?? Anyway, just like most men out there, I’m a pig headed, beard growing, card carrying member of the never wrong club. I try and constrict this to arguments with my woman when we debate the best way to cut down a tree, kill a bear with a tent pole, or the perfect spice to use when you need to cover up that “stabbed in the face with a katana” flavor present in what ever meat your preparing that night. But that’s a mans realm anyway. I don’t tell her how to fold the dishes or what laundry detergent to put on her tampons, or whatever the fuck women do.

I have no idea what drives you creatures

Sometimes you gotta look at yourself in the mirror, long and hard and just say “I’m so fucking stupid, and in no way is what I said correct”. The replace the mirror with the person who you said that dumb shit to, and continue with your life. You won’t be casting yourself into the fires of mount doom, or get molested by the puppeteer for Kermit the frog (he has VERY strong hands). Nothing at all will happen. Actually that’s a lie, that person will not only gain respect for you, but you will also be able to gain a small shred of humanity back. It’s really easy to do, and you will become addicted to it. I sometimes find myself just making some outrageous comment to people like a dyslexic Wikipedia, just so I can go back and say “You know what, now that I think about it, Yule Brenner was not Hon Solo, it was probably just a sex dream I had.”. It’s literally the easiest thing you can do to be a better person. It’s actually less than nothing, since all you’re doing is retracting a statement, it’s a negative action. Not negative like Darth Maul baby sitting and using his lightsaber to warm the babies’ milk then feed the baby with it, negative mathematically clown. Just give it a shot, be a hero.

"I only dropped it once! A new high score!"

Lastly: Everyone else.

Oh yes, just about every one of you motherfuckers. Yeah, sure in my last update, I rather harshly included all of you twat munching, shit receptacles into the last category of people I hated. You know what though, not only are we most likely related through our great, great, great, great ancestor Genghis Khan, making us brother/sisters (seriously that dude got AROUND), but you’re a fellow human. That’s all that’s required for you to have all the tools necessary to be my friend. Yes, its quite possible that id rather strain the juice from the bottom of a dumpster, selectively press it through some filters, concentrate this secretion, mix it with vodka, and inject that directly into my heart before I would hang out with you. That’s not important though. You know why? People can change. This is true primarily because the world is not full of small stupid babies. We must grow and change physically and mentally just to continue existing, and since this is a fact evident in all life, I know you can do it too. Yes, you beautiful special flower you. You can choose to wake up tomorrow, feed your cat like you always do, and decided “Today, ill probably stop hating Mexican people just because I don’t know how to say burrijah correctly”.  Bam, one step closer to being my friend. I also think I can feel free to that you’re at least somewhat decent because you’re at least reading my blog. At the very least, you’re well on your way to being absolutely bat shit insane. Just keep reading, and when you find yourself locked in the basement, wearing a gundum suit made from old beer cans and tinfoil, drunk on a crude alcohol distilled from your own urine, blasting tom petty songs backwards while punching holes in the wall to build you “demon proof dragon lair” look me up, and fucking thank me.

Your welcome