This is cool!

I think I fixed it... So here's a picture of a leopard dancing with a unicorn.

And also a skeleton couple pic.

Ipad?

Currently trying to hammer out some issues with getting my ipad to push blogs and images to this... um... blog? Im pretty sure its because of all this alcohol in my stomach, making thoughts so difficult. Hoegarrden, how i love you.

Stin reviews: Lady Gaga

First off, I just want to say, I’m no Lady Gaga fan. Don’t let that deter you if your infatuated with the young gal, I’ll write this review as a unpartisan member of the music community, to the BEST of my abilities

Mrs Gaga is a popular singer predominantly vocalizing in the “Music” business. I place this in quotations because, well, I don’t think what she produces from her throat counts as music. That’s a story for another day. One claim to fame Lady Gaga does hold however, is her rather “unique” sense of dress. Unique in the way she mostly looks like a transsexual biker mouse from mars that dressed in the dark, and then attached some dildo shaped feathers to her dome piece. Much akin to the class mental retard who found the glitter and glue sticks while everyone else was at recess, most of her choices of fashion come out more as a “Look at me, you probably shouldn’t let me dress myself” type way than in the “I'm so edgy and new era” way she means them to. That’s not to say she isn’t getting rave reviews from the public, but as we all know the public is RETARTED. Not mentally handicapped, but full blown cranial damage, window flavor sampling, lobotomized idiocracy.

Look Maam, I get that you like sexualizing yourself in strange ways. Machine gun bras? Yeah cool I suppose, if your Madonna’s little sister and also have no problem destroying your back for a little chest support. It’s fine though, women have been mutilating themselves for fashion since the first cave woman found out that she could simply bash her own skull in to save the cave man the trouble. Generally by today’s standards, things like foot binding and corsets that destroy your internal organs are seen as unnecessary and kinda gross actually. Women have found many less catastrophic ways of debasing themselves with clothing, to see a better example of this, just Google “Sexy Big Bird” and be ready to have your childhood nostalgia assaulted on multiple fronts, and becoming sexually confused towards Muppets FOREVER.

Her music, if it can even be called that, has a general tone of “I didn’t write this, but I can read somewhat”. Poker face? Yeah, I get it you’re a terrible human. Bad romance? Yeah I get it; you’re a terrible human being who is also bad at having someone love you. Paparazzi? Yeah, I get it; you’re famous for being a terrible human being. Just dance? You like to dance, I guess… but who doesn’t? Telephone? Yeah, I get this too, you’re a terrible human being that people (for some reason) want to talk to, and in perfect fashion, and you douche it up. Sure it has a beat, and some catchy lingo, which is perfect if I wanna be drunk beyond belief dancing to some stupid tunes. For something else in this category see: “The chicken dance”. Just goes to show you that you don’t have to be good for people to keep playing the shit that no one wants to hear. I just have to say, if someone sat me down, placed a gun at my temple, and told me to play some really meaningful music, Lady Gaga would not be at the top of that particular playlist.

With all this said and done what do I think the best part of Lady Gaga? Frank Gaga, the Earl of Gaga, and many other parodies. In my honest opinion when the best thing you have going is people making fun of you, then you have succeeded. Succeeded at being the ugly kid on the playground who everyone holds down while Tommy pee’s on their jacket, to the laughter and jeers of all your classmates. So congratulations on your success… I hope you enjoy it. They say there is no such thing as bad publicity… Perhaps Mel Gibson would disagree.

Rating: 23 of 100 Meat Cumberbuns

Check the beat DJ.. Ima wreck this.

OK... So to extrapolate on the previous post, I feel it’s necessary to explain exactly how time travel works. There's quite a few theory’s that those “scientist” would like you to believe.  Chief amongst those being that objects must exist in a certain “space” at a certain “time” in order to keep from being obliterated. Along with that that Space and time are inversely linked, I.E.: The slower your going, the more energy your using moving through time, faster your going, less energy moving through time.

THEY ARE WRONG!!

Simply put, that although these COULD be correct, there is a bar none easier way to achieve time travel. The conscience mind exists in a constant state of movement and exchange of energy. Mr. Lincoln had the joy of experiencing first hand what I like to call “Fusion under conditions kelvinized as external and destructive”, or FUCKED for short. Here is how Mr. Lincoln was FUCKED:

 Upon firing his gun, the young John Wilkes Booth thought that he sent Lincoln on a one way trip to the grave, saving the country from some type of radical republishing of the novel “The catcher and the rye” that would have inevitably lead to nearly every child becoming a serial killer. What he instead accomplished was ensuring Mr. Lincoln’s FUCKED status. Whereupon the bullet entered his cranial cavity, instead of causing massive destructive hemorrhaging, it’s counterclockwise spiraling bullet managed to touch, and press together, a path of no less and no more, 1500 neurons to the pressure of 1500psi. These neurons no longer had need of pathways to pass electrical information. They were in fact so close that they were able to conduct information passage at a FTL (faster than light) speed. In this single instant, they elevated to a singular consciousness cognitive in all things. Time passed no more. In this one instant Mr. Lincoln lived over a million life times… Much akin to Dr. Manhattan, he had obtained all knowledge of the universe.

I hope this explains a lot for you guys…
Mr. Lincoln can now be found FUCKED anywhere, at anytime. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

EDIT:  I just re read what I wrote… I need sleep. It’s insane… Its staying.

The dawn of a new era

Hello world! Now its time to get down to buisness.

First post in a brave new medium. Yeah, i know, blogging has been around for a while. Yeah i know, theres some bloggers out there who write cool stuff. Yeah i know, my weiner is massive. Consider this: Twenty thousand years from now, when the earth is covered in sub-atomic volcanic ash from the "War on plants", and timetraveling Abraham Lincoln (Yeah thats right, getting shot in the head allows you to time travel, WHAT OF IT?!) lands boot first into that seedy crusted destroyed world, the few remaining pockets of human civilization will find him. They will show hime where all this mayhem started... Glen Beck...

Somehow, im sure ill be mentioned... Surely.